Surrender Versus Control

"The mind is the security system of the body, so it wants to be in control to feel safe."
Mona & Giovanni - Question the Mind

We operate under the illusion that we are in control. To surrender means to yield or give up. Surrendering to a Higher Power means asking for support. It is saying we can't do it alone. It brings us out of ourselves somehow, and gives some relief to our struggles. "As a typical baby boomer who left formal religion behind at age 19, I had to be pushed pretty far for my ego to even begin to allow me to surrender.

I see now that what happened to me was an important part of my menopausal journey. It was the intensifying of experience that often happens in the last couple of years of perimenopause. Both Christiane Northrup and Susun Weed talk about this. My restricted left shoulder, injured carrying heavy rugs, was the event that catalyzed this key part of my journey. As my shoulder froze up I became so limited physically that I went into a completely different space in body-mind and spirit. Although I functioned in my life in a limited way, my main focus was on what was happening inside me. For a few months I did what Christiane Northrup calls "hanging out in the underworld". I like to call this place the "abyss". There I had seemed to have no choice but to allow my worst fears, grief and confusion to be fully experienced.

A few years earlier I had remembered that I had experienced sexual trauma as a toddler, but I was unprepared for the strong emotions that arose in me, and the occasional brief but graphic visual flashbacks that seemed to come from my shoulders after I received healing bodywork. My concern was that I would lose touch with reality and 'leave' my body somehow. This is what I think happened, albeit briefly, at the time of the abuse. During this difficult time I remember walking down the street and saying 'please help me' to a Higher Power I think of as 'The Universe', 'The Light', 'The Great Mother' or 'God'.

Surrendering of this nature was definitely not my usual modus operandi in the world. But I was desperate. I felt lost and alone in many ways. I knew that most people, not having made a similar internal journey, didn't understand what I was going through.

But "thank the Goddess", there was one person who really got it, and that was my very wise chiropractor, Christine. One day she said to me, "sometimes when you're standing on the edge of the abyss, there's nothing else to do but jump." I felt comforted and validated that she understood the limbo I was in.

As the months wore on, the shoulder restriction slowly eased with the help of chiropractic, massage, acupuncture and exercises. After six months, I had approximately 80% of the mobility back in my arm. As the shoulder released, something softened and released in me emotionally also.

I asked for guidance on what to do next and soon the idea came to me of writing to Judith Duerk, author and women's retreat leader to inquire about leadership training. My goal was to offer holistic groups for women. I went to Wyoming to work with Judith over a period of three years. I also sponsored a Judith Duerk retreat in my own community.

Out of this time in the abyss, a new 'me' was born. I was able to move into the next phase of my life as a mature women...a crone which has been very satisfying. I returned to school to get a master's degree in counseling. This qualified me for my life's work with women.

My life is not a perfect life now, now is it particularly easy. But I know who I am more and more and know what I can contribute to the world.

Copyright 2007 Ellen Besso

Through her 'Odyssey of Change' coaching program, Ellen Besso offers Midlife Women the opportunity to navigate the midlife maze and find joy & fullness in their lives.

Personal action plans include strengthening the body-mind connection; releasing beliefs that limit growth; & specific actions to move you forward into your ideal life.

Ellen is uniquely qualified to be your guide because she has personally journeyed through perimenopause and into an inspired life as a menopausal 4B6crone! Her professional credentials include certification as a Martha Beck Coach and an M.A. in Counseling from City University.

To find out more about Ellen's work and read articles written by her contact:

http://www.ellenbesso.com or http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze
info@ellenbesso.com - 800 961 1364 - N.Am. or 604 886 1916 - Gibsons, BC

Howard Cutler

The Power of Concentration Meditation Technique

Meditation is an invaluable and proven science to optimize health and elevate the quality of one's life. It not only promotes physical health, but also markedly improves emotional balance and psychological wellbeing. There are many types of meditation and in this article we will explore the popular and powerful Concentration Meditation Technique.

Concentration Meditation Techniques:

These are probably the most common and well know of all the meditations and often meditation is defined by these kinds of meditations exclusively. They are closely related to the Insight Meditation Techniques, with the difference being that Insight Meditation Techniques utilize the active application of intelligence and discernment, while the Concentration Meditation techniques use the power of focused attention to a greater degree. To some extent these meditations lay the groundwork for the Insight Meditations which need a high degree of concentration as a prerequisite to being effective.

1. Breath Meditation Technique (Zazen):

The heart of Zen Meditation is Zazen, the meditation of the Buddha. In this meditation, awareness and concentration are brought to the breathing process to help build mastery over the mind and free the system from dualistic thinking.

To practice Zazen one takes a seated posture and then begins to 5B4count the flow of one's breath. Counting each inhalation and exhalation starting from one to ten. So, an inhalation is one, the next exhalation is two, and so forth. When one reaches the count of ten, one returns to one and starts counting again. This helps focus the mind and prevents it from drifting endlessly from one thought to another.

As one develops one's ability to count undistracted from one to ten, one starts to count each breath cycle, instead of the inhalation and exhalation separately. So now one counts an inhalation and exhalation as one, the next complete breath as two and so forth till one reaches ten. After reaching ten, one returns to one and repeats the meditation.

In the advanced form of Zazen, one simply becomes the breath. In this form counting is dropped altogether and only keen awareness of the breath is maintained. One should not progress to this level until one has mastered the previous two.

Zazen breath meditation helps develop the power of focused concentration and creates a serene, peaceful mind capable of penetrating the veil of dualistic thinking.

2. Another breath based meditation is Vipassana:

In Vipassana one extends one's awareness from one's breath, to the body and the sensations that rise and fall within it. The objective being to have insight into the workings of the mind through self-observation. This form of meditation is also called Insight Meditation as it helps one 5B4develop insight into the true nature of things.

3. Object Concentration Meditation Technique:

There are many meditations that utilize an external object as a focus point for the mind. Zazen and Vipassana belong in this sections as well, but due to their widespread use I mentioned them separately. The objects of focus can be anything from a point on the ceiling, to a flower, to external sounds in the environment. These meditations all develop focus, concentration, self knowledge, calmness and the witnessing consciousness. Their ultimate objective, though, is to have the meditator finally drop the object of concentration and encounter the non-dual nature of Reality directly.

Some examples of these meditations are Sound Awareness Meditation Technique and candle flame gazing (Trataka). Both these meditation utilize the sense modalities to accomplish the goals of concentration meditation.

Summary:

So you see from above that there are many types of concentration meditation techniques. This allows one to choose a type that is most suitable for their personality and disposition. The best way to discover the enormous benefits of meditation is to jump in and participate. What are you waiting for?

Anmol Mehta is a Yoga & Zen Expert. His site, Free Guided M4ECeditation & Chakra Kundalini Yoga Exercises, offers Free Third Eye (Ajna) Chakra Yoga Meditation Technique. Also, find great discussions on the Free Guided Meditation Practice, Kundalini Yoga Poses & Zen Meditation Blog.

This article is available for reprint on your website and/or newsletter, provided it is not changed and you include the author's signature.

Relaxation

Inspire a Vision

In the fall of 1962, President John F. Kennedy spoke at Rice University about the nations young space program. A year earlier, in the first year of his presidency, Kennedy had pressed hard for huge expenditures for the program, and he had set a seemingly impossible goal: man would go to the moon by the end of the decade.

Rice University is in Houston, a place that was to be central to the space program, so it must have seemed like a good place to talk about why we were spending all this money on a project whose goals were more than a little obscure to many people at the time.

I re-read that speech every once in a while because its a fantastic example of how leadership can inspire and enlist others in a vision. On that day, President Kennedy didnt say a word about how we were going to get to the moonhe didnt know how. The technology, fuel, and communication necessary for such an undertaking had not yet been invented. Instead, he sketched out a vision of what he felt we needed to accomplish and why it was important:

We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.

I revisit the speech because it helps me better understand the role of the modern-day CEO, a person who is called on to enable others to deliver the goods to the board of directors, the shareholders, the customers, and other stakeholders. The best top executives do this with only one hand because the other is busy orchestrating a vision of the future, the kind of vision Kennedy talked about in his 1962 speech at Rice.

Short strategies, long vision

As Kennedys speech demonstrates, vision and leadership have always mattered. But those qualities are even more valuable today. One reason is that the half-life of any business strategy is much shorter than it used to be. Companies used to talk about the importance of good five-year plans; today, its difficult to follow a five-year plan because the rules of the game may change in less than half that time. And that reality has had an enormous impact on the way the professional development field is viewed.

Executives tend to be skeptical about the value of professional development training, tired of the flavor of the month approach. Many believe that people in the professional development field embrace one message one minute and something entirely different the next.

Im not offended when I hear that criticism because I think it contains an element of truth. The fact is, professional development tactics change frequently because the playing field changes so rapidly. We do change direction, and its because the way we do business changes so fast. That has become a simple reality in my business, but it is now a reality in every business.

One thing that doesnt change is the need for a clear and simple vision, a bottom-line directional view of the futurethe whys of business, if you will. Establishing that vision is one critical step; inspiring that vision is another. But those two steps wont ultimately matter much if the message doesnt get repeated, forcefully and frequently, to everyone up and down the organization. The process doesnt end at the point that the management team buys into the objective; the message has to become a drumbeat, a mantra that burrows itself into the entire organizations fabric.

Team members need to hear that drumbeat over and over again, until it becomes second nature behavior. Whatever the organization doesevery step, every initiative, every strategyhas to be aligned with that vision.

So when a CEO thinks about training for an organizations top executives, the emphasis must be on the kind of culture that will be required to turn the vision into something tangible. We shouldnt be simply seeking a smoother process or an up-tick in efficiency; instead, our focus must be on moving everyone in the same direction, and knowing why were going there.

If the training program really does its job well, it will also instill a serious dose of passion about the organizational vision and message. Inspiration is what its about, so lets not be afraid to inspire.

If top executives arent likely to benefit a great deal from conventional management training, and if the ground rules for visualizing the future keep changing, exactly what sort of training is likely to help people at the top run their companies? Here are some ideas:

Learn to inspire and enlist others in the vision.

You may have a very clear picture of where you want your company to go, but its going to be extremely difficult to get there if the other team members arent on board.

Exhibit passion, and demand it in others.

Any vision worth believing in should really matter, and it should generate a healthy dose of excitement. When you talk about your shared vision, the ground should tremble a little and your heart rate should go up. If it doesnt, somethings wrong.

Set the bar high.

Once people see the vision you describe, getting there may seem impossible. But if the shared vision really means something, people can do seemingly impossible things. And doing that together feels great.

Give people permission to challenge the process. People cant do things if they arent empowered to do them. Its not about thinking outside the box anymore; its about acting beyond the box. So empower them.

Set the stage.

Every organization has a culture. CEOs and executive leaders are the architects of the culture and contribute greatly to it whether they mean to or not. Since you are going to establish much of your companys culture anyway, model the way. Think about what you want the company culture to be, and make it so.

Communicate values.

Everything from the culture of the company to the feelings of self-esteem possessed by the employees spring from the values that the company embraces and cares about. And values come from the top.

The media loves to focus on colorful CEOs, and although some enjoy the attention, many of the best corporate leaders are people most of us have never heard of. The really good ones are those that take an active role in mentoring and coaching at every level of their business. Thats what creates good corporate cultures, and corporate cultures are what set the stage for success.

Nicholas D. Conner is Vice President of Program Development and COO of TeamBuilders.

For nearly twenty years he has enjoyed sharing his experience and expertise with organizations that include small business to Fortune 20 Companies.

His unique facilitation style combining humor with knowledge creates workshops that are both entertaining and insightful. Nick is one reason why TeamBuilders client list reads like a Whos Who of global business.

EXPERIENCE AND EXPERTISE Nearly twenty years of designing and facilitating sophisticated workshops in Team Synergy High Performance Teams, Mergers and Acquisitions and Change, Leadership Synergy, Leading & Coaching for High Performance Teams and Self-Managed/Self-Directed Work Teams.

Myers Briggs Type Indicator Level Eight Facilitator-MBTI, MBTI Step II, MBTI Executive Coaching

Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership-Kouzes and Posner

The FiveStar Team Performance Indicator

Key Note Speaker

God

Psychological Freedom

Freedom.

Many consider this to be the most important word in the human language. Wars have been fought, lives lost and revolutions won, all for the goal of freedom.

In the film "Braveheart," Met Gibson played William Wallace, a 12th-century Scotsman determined to win f21D7reedom for himself and his country.

While not completely accurate historically, the film's depiction of Wallace's passion for freedom captured hearts and minds.

As I pondered the popularity of "Braveheart" and the coming Fourth of July celebration, I decided to apply the notion of freedom to our emotional and psychological lives.

In order to be emotionally and psychologically free, or to have what I'll call "mental freedom," we need to have "freedom from" and "freedom to."

Freedom from

The past - This does not mean to forget the past. It's important to remember the old saying, "Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it."

But an important freedom is to be free of the weight, or "emotional charge," of the past.

Too much stress - A certain amount of stress is good for us; it leads us to take action. Too much stress freezes us and leads to inaction.

Pressure - Stress comes from the outside, while pressure comes from what we tell ourselves about the stress. It's "how can I ever get all this done?" vs. "I can handle this."

Pressure is an inside job.

Abuse, of any kind - There has been a lot of emphasis recently on the important issues of physical and sexual abuse. At the same time, we also need freedom from emotional and verbal abuse.

Freedom to

Achieve your potential.

Do work you enjoy.

Be yourself.

To dream - Everybody has a dream. What's yours? Go for it.

Think for yourself - Never, ever, let anyone do your thinking for you. Others may disagree with you, and that can be uncomfortable, or worse.

At the same time, as Robert Louis Stevenson once said, "Sooner or later, we all sit down to a banquet of consequences." Make decisions on a daily basis to make sure that's a banquet you would enjoy.

To love and be loved.

To say no. Unless we can say no, our yes really doesn't mean much.

To change - Whether it's a change in direction, in priorities, maturity level, beliefs, or something else equally important, the freedom to change one's life is crucial to mental freedom.

As one person so aptly said, "It's good to be able to change our lives while life is changing us."

How would you like to banish writers block forever and write away, right away? Then get yourself a copy of my 26 Article Writing Templates with Examples at http://www.TheArticleGuy.com/articletemplates.htm

You can also subscribe to The Article Writing & Article Marketing Tips Newsletter delivered to your email inbox twice a month from Jeff Herring, The Article Guy.

Dalai Lama

I Would Give Anything To ...

A couple days ago I was listening to a CD by one of the most successful speakers in the industry. He has been around for many years and is considered one of the greats. He is also considered to be somewhat off the beaten path. As much as he is admired and respected by many, he is judged by just as many. The segment I found most intriguing was one about how others often say to him5B4, I would give anything to be a successful speaker and author just like you.

His response is, No you wouldnt. What you want is the end result, but youre probably not willing to do what it takes to achieve the level of success I have achieved. Arrogant? Maybe. Harsh? Perhaps. Truthful? Most definitely.

Anyone who has achieved a relatively high level of success in their industry has probably had the same statement directed to them. I would give anything to be a successful ________ just like you.

Truth be told, achieving a level of success others will want to emulate is something most people are not willing to make the necessary sacrifices for. Sure, they want the end result, but are they willing to step out from the crowd and do what it takes to achieve their dream? Are they willing to go through the inevitable ups and downs?

Over the years Ive had the opportunity to work with some pretty incredible people. Folks who have achieved more than most could only dream of. Individuals who others will look at and think, I would be willing to do anything to achieve that level of success.

Sadly, that is about as far as many people get with their desire to accomplish what they want out of life. They talk about it, but dont do what is necessary to achieve it. Im not referring simply to monetary success. I am referring to contribution to community, personal success, physical succes5B4s, or virtually anything that would signify a complete life.

In last months column I mentioned the book I am co-authoring. Why Be Different? Success Secrets for Selling the Unsellable is a book about how one can set themselves apart from the competition in such a way that they literally become leaders in their industry. Much of the book will be based on interviews conducted with people from a variety of industries such as real estate, healthcare, accounting, hospitality and more. Being a leader doesnt necessarily mean you are the biggest. It means that you are the one others look to when determining standards of success within an industry.

As I have been gathering information, what I find interesting is some of the similarities with the people we are featuring in the book. Each person has been through some incredible ups and downs on their road to success. Each has gone through experiences that would make someone else quickly throw in the towel. They didnt let the roadblocks stop them; they just kept moving forward in order to reach their goals.

What I find most intriguing is their powerful belief in having a vision of what is possible. All are also very flexible in their approach to life. They knew what they wanted to achieve and if one thing didnt work they tried something else. If that didnt work, they tried yet something else. They kept at it until they achieved their goals. The words no and 4FCcant are almost nonexistent in their vocabulary.

Also evident is their generosity to their community and their clients. Rather than putting a price tag on everything, they often make contributions without expecting anything in return. They do it because it makes others feel good and it is simply the right thing to do.

With each person, a love of what they are doing is essential. Although they work very hard, they have such an incredible passion for what they are doing that when the tough times hit, they are virtually unstoppable. People who are not incredibly passionate about what they are doing give up when they are presented with roadblocks to their success.

Dont just be another person saying, Id do anything Keep your vision, your passion and jump over your roadblocks.

Copyright: 2004 by Kathleen Gage

Publishing Guidelines: You may publish my article in your newsletter, on your web site, or in your print publication provided you include The resource box at the end. Notification would be appreciated but is not required.

About The Author

Kathleen Gage is a business advisor, keynote sp3FFeaker, and trainer that helps others gain dominance and visibility within their market. Call 801.619.1514 or e-Mail kathleen@turningpointpresents.com . Get Gages FREE 4 day online marketing course by visiting www.kathleengage.com.

Southern Buddhism

Reach Your Goals Temp Your Way To The Top

Temp your way to the top

Want to take the test for a software certification, but feeling a bit rusty? Need to brush up on your mechanic skills before tackling the full rebuild of that gas-and-oil-guzzler staining up your driveway? Or perhaps you need to re-enter the networking circle of your chosen work-from-home career after a few years out of the loop, but don't want to get trapped into the office-bound aspects of it. One visit to your local temporary staffing agency could have you on your way to meeting your goals and getting paid for it at the same time.

Temp agencies are well known for their desire to work with their employee-clients (that's you) on times, shifts, days and skill specifications. If you find out that you and a particular employer don't see eye to eye on what you need, you can just say "no" ("no's" are no big deal - the temp agency would rather find out before you walk out of an employer's office mid-shift and leave them with a PR hassle). By the time you've gotten what you needed out of the bargain, you and the agency have made some extra cash and the local businesses will know your name (and hopefully, that'll be a good thing).

(c) Soni Pitts

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.

She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.

John F Kennedy

Is Life Keeping You From Getting Anywhere

Are you too busy with what you are doing to change or get ahead?

Are you so distracted with life that you have time to pay attention to what you want in life?

Can you even remember what you want any more?

The routine tasks of daily life can so easily use up all of your time that they become the main part of life.

When was the last time you spent time thinking or contemplating what you want in your life? For most it has been far too long.

Are you aware that your daily activities are your predominate habits? A habit is an automatic thought, routine or behavior. They become so ingrained in you life that you build interpretations, thinking, behavior, and defens5B4es around them, protecting the status quo.

Have you noticed how protective you can be about what you do and think, even if you are not really sure why. How you will defend anything even if it is really not in your best interest. You will actually personalize and protect your habits no matter how negative, debilitating and restrictive they become.

Sometimes, what habits prevent you from doing is far more damaging than the habit itself. Many habitual routines cause you no harm other than sapping your time and energy that could be utilized for your personal growth and development.

We have all heard of how effective use of our time leads to results. Well, there are always results in your life; everything you do has a result. Even when you think you are doing nothing, you are getting the results of the doing 'nothing'. And part of the result is, what you are not doing while doing the 'nothing'.

If you sit and watch TV instead of washing the dishes, the result is - the dishes are not washed, and of course you accomplished TV watching.

This goes on all day, with you getting appropriate results for all of your actions and apparent inaction.

The question becomes, how long are you going to continue to let what you do all day long prevent you from the life you desire? You can't continue to do everything you do now and expect different results. You must make some adjustments.

Change what you are doi5B4ng and what you are doing will change. Your results will change and so will your life. It takes effort on your part. Who said the life you want is easy? I'm not saying it is hard either, not any harder than what you are doing now.

The challenging part is in getting yourself to alter what you are now doing to allow for what you want. You have gradually built your life to what it is today, whether you did so intentionally or not.

You then need to make any adjustments that are needed to support what you want. It will take effort at first, as your ego mind will want to fight to preserve the status quo. It will take determination and self-discipline on your part at first to override the existing habits.

This can only take place when your inner drive is sufficient to back your efforts. Only when you become fed up with what you no longer want and you become deeply desirous of what you do want will you have the needed mental and emotional drive.

You will need to insert into your day, some things that support what you want. You need to be moving in the direction of your dreams, not just once in a while, but each day.

Take a look at what you want in your life - what activities would lead to them becoming reality for you? Put these into your daily schedule and help them become your habits. Even if small, they will begin to have an effect.

If you were in baseball and wanted to be batting over 300, don't yo5B4u think you should be doing a lot of batting practice? Of course, that's obvious right! Then why don't you do any practice for what you want?

You have allowed yourself to be consumed by your habits, you must change that in order to get what you want. And what you have in your life is directly related to how much time and attention you have given it. Give an appropriate percentage of your time with what you do want.

Spending all of your time doing things that are not part of what you want your life to be and then complaining about it changes nothing. All you are doing is accentuating your unhappiness.

Another key part of this is to know what you want unfiltered by the ego. There is a lot deep in your mind that is covered by the activity of the day. Schedule time in your day for contemplation of some sort, as well as the specific activities.

Meditation is good or any quiet undistracted dedicated thinking 20 to 30 minutes at least once a day. Contemplative thinking is something most of us do not do enough of, as we are so busy running around just doing what we are in the habit of doing.

It is so easy to allow ourselves to get in the rut of just wishing of something rather than taking steps towards making it happen.

And very important, you must stick with it, just doing something for a short term or once in a while will not effect change. What job, business or college degree can you be successfu496l in if you only do it once in a while?

If you want it to be a part of your life - make it a part of your life!

Change your efforts and your results will change.

John Halderman writes and speaks with intent on helping you get effective results with your personal growth. For self-improvement tools, tips and resources for living a satisfying life get the "Effective Personal Development Newsletter" and a bonus report http://www.activepersonaldevelopment.com

More Than Just Garbage Here

Is Today The Day You Take Action

You will either step forward into Growth, or you will step back into Safety.
~ Abraham Maslow ~

As the year quickly moves forward, this could turn out to be just another day, week and month that passes by, or it could be the beginning of something new. Take a look at your life. Overall, how is it going? Would you describe your life as a joyous, passionate expression of self? Are you living your most abundant, peaceful, loving life? Everyone of us carries within an idea, a dream, or a desire. Taking action on these desires is how excitement unfolds. Yet so often these dreams are dismissed or put on the cold back burner. Will today be another day that passes by without taking action on your dream?

Question:
What could I do dE11ifferently today that would effect my life?

What to Do?
We generally have some sort of an idea of what we would wish to create within our lives. Yet we also sense the enormity of all that it would take to change the status quo. The task ahead seems huge and unmanageable. All the familiar feelings of procrastination, doubt, and overwhelm rise to the surface to protect the known comfort of what is. It seems much easier to remain in the safety of what is known and familiar. And yet the desire to create change continues to exist. How do any of us get past the plateau that we sit on?

Take a Small Step
What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it. Antoine De Saint-Exupery ( 1900-1944, French Aviator, Writer)

In the end, as adults, no one can save us but ourselves. We own, and are responsible, for our own lives and happiness. To get what we want out of life, it helps to know what it is that we want. We need to know what we dream of. Close your eyes and be willing to take a look at the big picture. What is it you want? For example:

Be at peace with food and your body

Weigh a certain amount _________

Write a book

Begin a new business

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

Now step back from the big picture and find what steps you can do now, today, to make your dream come true. What are five small, achievable steps you can take today to move forward with this dream? For example:

1. Write down my desire.

2. Create a simple picture board illustrating my desire.

3. Take five minutes to imagine myself joyfully living my desire.

4. Create a daily action list to help create different habits.

5. Feel joy in the recognition that I took these steps today.

Question:
Will today be the day I gently push aside all of my excuses, and take tangible action on my personal desires?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Annette Colby, RD can help you take the pain out of life, turn difficult emotions into joy, release stress, end emotional eating, and move beyond depression into an extraordinary life! Annette is the author of Your Highest Potential and has the unique ability to show you how to spark an amazing relationship with your life! Visit www.LovingMiracles.com to access hundreds of content filled articles and sign up for a Free subscription to Loving Miracles! newsletter.

Nelson Mandela

The Secrets of Stamina-Building

For ages, stamina has proved to be one of the major factors when it comes to combat sports, martial arts, traditional sports, and regular day-to-day activity. Stamina is the ability to keep going regardless of fatigue. Its no secret that building your stamina will lead to a better life; a new you. However, there are secrets to quickly and efficiently building your stamina that will have people questioning whether youre using steroids!

Picture this if you will: Each day you wake up full of energy and ready to take on any challenge that awaits you. If youre not a morning person, then you suddenly become one! Most people hate getting up in the morning because they feel exhausted, tired, and still want to remain in bed. Imagine yourself feeling great, the complete opposite of that, each and every morning your feet hit the floor You have the stamina to last throughout the day without needing to take a quick nap. Your increased energy levels reflect on your productiveness at work and people start to see the difference in you. You get more attention from the opposite sex and/or your significant other. You feel great and the people around you start to take notice as you impress them with the new you.

Great image, huh? You bet! And the best part is, that mental picture that I just gave you can become your reality when you: 1) Change your mindset and 2) Increase your energy levels. And the way to do this is to start building your stamina.

Why you ask? Well two reasons:

1.When you start to see progress in your attempt to build your stamina, your belief system changes. Going from an out-of-shape person to a well-build, high energy being in only a matter of weeks can and will have a very positive effect on your mindset. To sum it all up: youll believe more is possible and youll start to achieve more. It doesn't matter how impossible your goals may seem, anything that you want to achieve can be achieved with a simple change in your mindset.

2.Building your stamina by following a training regimen each day keeps you active. Heres a fact: when your body is inactive for a long period of time, your body gets used to it and you become lethargic. Doing the complete opposite by constantly being active will allow you to become more energetic and your daily energy levels will start to increase.

So when you start to increase your stamina, you start to increase yourself as a person and get more quality out of life. Youll have the energy to do more.

Ryan Dodson

If you want to start seeing a change in yourself within two weeks, I have good news for you. The secrets to quickly and efficiently building your stamina within only two weeks can be found at the Inhuman Stamina website. Now's the time to make a life-changing decision that will impact yourself as well as the people that surround you.

Howard Cutler

Personal and Professional Development

When people ask me about my business, I tell them Im in the learning business that we help organizations, teams and individuals reach their potential through learning. This is a fine statement and it does describe the breadth of what we do, but it often leads to the follow-up question like . . . Do you do personal development stuff or just business skills training?

My answer is yes.

Because I dont believe there is a significant difference between personal development and professional development.

Why do I say that?

The Reasons Why

Since my opinion might differ from yours, or perhaps youve never thought about it this, it makes sense to explain myself. There are at least five major reasons why I think personal and professional development are the same thing.

Learning is Learning. We were granted an amazing potential for learning at birth. Most of us havent used very much of that potential. Its like we are mowing our lawn with a jet engine. Sure the jet engine has enough horsepower to turn the blade, but it has virtually unlimited potential that isnt being used. When we are learning we are increasing our 5A8capacity to learn more because we are flexing and exercising our learning muscles. In other words whenever we are learning we are increasing our capacity to learn even more.

All Experience Counts. One of the powerful ways that we learn is by connecting new learning to what we already know. As we continue to build our knowledge and experiences, it allows us to make new connections faster. In other words, the more we learn, the more successful we will be at learning new things and in most situations; more quickly with deeper understanding.

Were a Whole Package. It isnt like we go to work and dont use anything we know from our personal life to be more effective professionally. And while we may not need to know how to repair rotating drum equipment at home those skills might help you diagnose the problem with your washing machine. And even though you dont have to back up the system database at home, you might be able to deal with your home PC better because of what you learned at work. And while you hope youll never need to follow the new Customer Service procedure at home, that procedure might teach you something a following a process, or being more understanding when you are the Customer.

The bottom line is that we are complete humans, and as such we take our entire work knowledge home, and bring all of our personal knowledge and experience to work. So any form5B4 of growth or development will benefit you both personally and professionally.

The Most Important Skills are Always the Most Important. Where does being a better listener help you at home or at work? Both, of course. When you learn how to coach more effectively at work does it make you a better parent? It sure can!

We could make a long list of these valuable skills, from communication to dealing with conflict, to learning how to learn, to giving better feedback to being more creative you get the idea (and have probably thought of five other examples yourself by now). There are many skills that we might learn as self improvement that will help us at work, and vice versa. So why label it one or the other?

Serendipity Rules. Because our learning grows based on connections, you never know when something you learned on the Discovery Channel might give you an aha at work, or that the insight shared by the seminar leader at work helps you solve a vexing problem at home. Again, all development, all learning, all growth helps us in all parts of our lives.

But Wait

Does all of this mean that as I become a better knitter or bowler, Ill be more productive and successful at work? Yes, for the reasons I described above (and some others too).

That doesnt mean that your organization should send everyone to knitting class or bowling lessons, but it does mean that t53Chere is substantial merit in supporting any form of learning regardless of the content.

In the end, my goal is to help you view all skills more broadly in their application instead of classifying some things as personal development and therefore they dont matter at work.

Learning is learning. Personal development is professional development.

When you stop worrying about the distinctions, but rather think about the applications, you serve yourself and others much better.

Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group (http://KevinEikenberry.com), a learning consulting company. To receive a free Special Report on leadership that includes resources, ideas, and advice go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/leadership.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

Relaxation

Reverse Adrenal Fatigue With Biofeedback

I wish to relate a remarkable story employing a new biofeedback device called Quantum Life in the last year which has surprised and delighted me and has given me hope for even greater personal growth than I could ever have imagined.

This new technology has the ability to rebalance one's physiological systems in such a way that it can help reduce stress and, in my personal experience, reverse adrenal fatigue. My personal story is as follows:

Recently my life has evolved in suc102Eh a way that I have moved out of practicing medicine and into a more holistic program. I have become a student of Naturopathy as I feel it will help to enhance my already growing interest and background in natural and energetic modalities.

Now to be honest my initial feelings about returning to a rigorous educational program at the age of 50 may have some people concerned but with the Quantum Life system I have experienced a number of remarkable things: my energy and over all health have improved, the amount of sleep I need has decreased from 8 hours down to 6 hours at night, my appetite and weight have normalized, I have greater clarity and improved concentration, my memory has improved, and my overall resilience has improved. Finally, my overall performance is such that I feel like

I'm functioning better than I did when I was in my twenties. This has made it possible for me to enjoy and get the most out of my new endeavor.

This biofeedback system operates on the principle that illness of any kind results when one or more physiological systems stop communicating with each other in a coherent and coordinated fashion. This is much like what happens in a relationship with the same difficulties. The outcome of such miscommunication is a faulty relationship system that ultimately breaks down.

Quantum Life has the capacity to detect such miscommunication at the physiological level and help "re-connect" disparate and isolated organ systems so that the entire "human system" can re-establish normal coherent function.

The concept of "stress" is effectively a state that results when communication breakdown occurs at the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual levels within an organism.

Quantum Life can re-establish coherence in stressed "systems" and individuals rapidly and effectively thereby enhancing wellness, resilience and overall performance.

Many professional athletes having been employing such technologies to enhance their performance and with great results. To learn more about this technology kindly read my other articles on Biofeedback or contact me at the email address below.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

He is also a Quantum Life Biofeedback Practitioner. Email: drnick@telecoaching4u.com

Web Site: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

Howard Cutler

Coaching - A Quote A Day

"Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce." Author Unknown

Believe it or not, the use of motivational quotes can have a positive impact on your resolve to move forward in business. We can all suffer moment of self-doubt and find ourselves somewhat incapacitated in our entrepreneurial endeavors.

This article draws from a select group of quotes and ideas that may help you jumpstart your willingness to move forward.

"In the factory we make cosmetics. In the store we sell hope." - Charles Revson

You have customers to think of. In the end, you sell more than a product you also sell something intangible, but altogether needed an emotional attachment to the product. Some people dont care about how they connect to a product on an emotional level, but many do. How have you developed your product to have an emotional appeal?

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." - Anne Frank

Anne Frank endured Nazi repression and her life represents one of dedication and willingness to help others. She did not become bitter in the midst of great difficulty she simply found ways to make things better. How does this thought mesh with your entrepreneurial efforts?

"A person who graduated yesterday and stops studying today is uneducated tomorrow." Author Unknown

Have you stopped learning? Sometimes it becomes easy to rely on what we have always known because it just takes too much work to do otherwise, yet ongoing education can help you take the entrepreneurial spirit and apply it to new methods. Never loose the joy of learning.

"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today." - Will Rogers

You may have failures in your past and it may be easy to dwell on those failures as evidence of your inability to do anything meaningful in the future. By living in the rearview mirror you fail to see opportunities and potential success.

The buyer buys the seller not the salt. Author Unknown

You may sell a certain product, but what you are marketing is trust. If your customers trust you then they will trust the product. Conversely you can have the best product available, but if people dont trust you they will never make that all-important first purchase.

Print this article out and refer to one of the quotes and thoughts each day. It may be the encouragement you need to turn the corner and make positive steps in your business.

Scott Lindsay is a web developer and entrepreneur. He is the founder of HighPowerSites and many other web projects. Get your own website online in just 5 minutes with HighPowerSites.com at: http://www.highpowersites.com Start your own ebook business with BooksWealth at: http://www.bookswealth.com

Relaxation

Questions Are Our Navigators - Part 1

An individuals decision making, their association process to meaning and their ability to succeed in life depends on the questions that a person asks oneself. Through the journey of life we continually ask ourselves questions about the circumstances which we are currently in. Questions in essence drive all forms of action within us. Questions are a navigation tool that humans use to direct themselves towards a given outcome. But the strange thing about the mind is that if you dont control it, it will control you. The same is with our habits, as well as our subconscious or conscious questions.

The truth is that the quality of the questions you ask yourself on a daily basis is directly proportionate to the quality of the results you achieve in your lifetime. The better the question, the better the results you will attain. Many people are not even aware that they are asking questions about certain topics. But anything you do in the form of an action comes from a question you asked yourself, about the certain situation. Whether that question is subconscious or conscious depends on your life conditioning, your childhood and significant emotional events which shaped your life. Even the type of question you ask is dependent on your previous conditioning.

The key to success is to ask better questions. Questions have a power to realign your focus. It tells your brain what exactly it is youre searching for and allows your subconscious mind to configure itself in order to answer the question. For example, if you asked yourself how can I be rich? Your brain will respond with several different answers. These answers depend on your life experience and knowledge database. Your brain might say, Get a job, or start your own business, etc. But really that is a low quality question so you will get a low quality answer and most probably a low quality result. What if you ask yourself something more precise or more empowering like, How can I offer more value to peoples lives, in the form of a product which I can sell, which in turn will create financial abundance? Now your brain might be confused, but it will still search for an answer. The key to this is to remind your brain everyday of what it is you are searching for, by asking the same question.

On a scientific point of view the brain processes an enormous amount of information daily, and filters out anything that it believes is irrelevant. When you continually ask yourself this question for example, your brain will search internally to find the answer, or it will begin to search externally to find the answer. You be amazed at what happens over time if you practice this technique. Your brain literally concentrates on possible ideas or information or anything that can possibly answer your question. You meet people that are somehow associated with what you want. You notice things that were always there but your brain simply didnt process it. You will begin focus in to what ever it is your asking yourself. It is a powerful tool if you understand how to apply it within your life.

I have supplied at the bottom some sample questions which you can edit to suit your situation or replicate, to begin the process immediately. Try it out and see the results for yourself. Give it at least 2 weeks of daily practise, a few minutes a day, repeating questions with enthusiasm.

Business - How can I add even more value to other peoples lives?
Self -How can I become even more of an inspiration al role model in order to serve others at even higher levels?
Relationships How can I serve others unconditionally even more?
Intimate How can I love my partner unconditionally even more?
Health How can I create the abundance of energy within my life, even more?
Study/Education What can I do today, that will positively impact my future occupation?
Financial How can I create even more financial abundance within my life?
Gratitude What can I possibly be grateful for in my life, right now?

Kristian Hahndel has been personally involved in the human development field for many years. He aims to serve others with techniques and strategies which can positively impact their lives. For more information please visit http://www.myselfhelpstore.com

Richard Dawkins

Have You Planned Your New Year's Revolutions?

Revolution:

~ a sudden, radical, or complete change

~ a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something

~ a change of paradigm

I can think of no better way to begin this New Year than by initiating a revolution, or perhaps several.

A resolution is defined as a "firm resolve". And for most people, with each passing day into the New Year, that firm resolve seems to turn closer to mush.

But a revolution? Now that sounds powerful. A sudden, radical, or complete change. Yes, that sounds like a call to action. No pussyfooting around here.

A fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something. Now that has substance. No superficial wishy-washy daydreaming here.

A change of paradigm. Whoa, we're talking challenge here. Set a new example for myself.

Perhaps if we planned our New Year's Revolutions, we just might summon up our innate power source which hooks us up to the Universal power source and find ourselves a tad closer to the completion of those goals and desires we long for.

Let's affirm:

I'm ready now for the revolutionary new and improved ME!

Copyright 2004-2006 Marilyn Jenett

Marilyn Jenett, an accomplished business owner in the corporate arena (http://www.MarilynJenettLocations.com) founded the Feel Free to Prosper program to mentor and teach others to become aligned with Universal laws and accept their right to prosper. Her students, from around the globe and from all walks of life, are enjoying remarkable success applying her lessons and participating in her private and group telephone sessions and audio programs. For more information, visit her website at http://www.FeelFreetoProsper.com and her network forum at prosper-network.ryze.com.

You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print as long as the bylines, URL and copyright are included. Please print the article in its entirety and unchanged.

Laotzu

How To Be Well Nourished In Your Relationship

It's delicious to feel well nourished in relationships. There's a yearning and hunger we bring to our partners for all kinds of food: warmth, kindness, appreciation, time spent together. However, when food is not forthcoming or not enough, some will do anything to get fed. Right from the moment we are born, we connect being fed with being loved.

Many become fixated on one person, who they see as their sole source of well-being. The first thing to notice is the intense desire for receiving. This is the idea of the child - feed me and all will be well.

We must be aware of all kinds of food, emotional, mental and spiritual that are needed in a complete relationship. It is necessary to stop a moment and recognize what we are consuming in a relationship, is it healthy, is it food our system can digest? We can eat all day, but if we do not taste and digest what we are eating, we will never receive the nourishment we need. Some spend all their time wanting to change their partners. "There's so much that's wonderful about him," they say, "but what I'm hungering for, I don't get. I need more excitement."

Rather than go to another relationship, where they can get the excitement' they think they want, they stay, feeling dissatisfied. It's as though their partners are an apple tree, giving fabulous apples, while they are longing for pears. Rather than walk down the street to the pear tree and take one, they rail against the apple tree, which could not produce a pear, no matter how hard it tried.

But remember, you will never turn an apple tree into a pear tree. Some of us are simply addicted to being dissatisfied. But in order to live a life of being in love, we must learn to take what is given and offer thanks in return. If we spend all our time wanting to change the person, rejecting their essential qualities, not wanting or valuing what they basically give, this is a sure fire recipe for nausea.

We must become able to absorb what is useful and discard the rest. It is important to honor and be grateful for that which we receive or we become bitter and spend all our time focussing upon that which the person is not able to provide.

Feeding Others We Are Fed

Being in a successful relationships means learning how to appreciate the needs of others, and being willing to completely fill them, on time. As we do this, a strange thing happens, our own hunger completely fades away. Feeding others, we are fed ourselves. Our relationships turn around 180 degrees.

It no longer becomes a question of what the other is or isn't giving. It's a question of what can be offered to him or to her. As we place our attention upon the needs of others and find ways of giving to them, not only does our hunger subside, but we begin to feel full. As we do this, we develop parental mind.

Parental Mind

Parental mind is the state of mind that wants to care for and nourish others. It is the mind of the mother with a newborn child. A state of unconditional regard for the world we live in. It is not a mind which keeps accounts or continually needs to be filled up and attended to.

Parental mind develops naturally as we sit in zazen, (zen meditation). By sitting we feed our own deep hunger and become in touch with the flow of nourishment always available to us all. That flow of nourishment can also be called the action of being in love.

Discover the surprising truths about love in top selling program Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws to Successful Relationships). Get copy at http://www.truthaboutlove.com, Psychologist and award winning author has helped thousands. Get free ezine and articles at http://www.brendashoshanna.com, topspeaker@yahoo.com

Success By The Numbers

Self-appreciation: The Key To Living A Life Of Joy

How do you appreciate yourself? Or do you? Did you learn that being good to yourself was selfish? If you said 'No' were you bad? If you praised yourself or were praised, were people afraid you might get a 'swelled head'? Most of us get the message loud and clear that praising ourselves or others would lead to 'becoming conceited' or 'slacking off.' The tragedy of this belief is that, in fact, the very opposite is true. What you pay attention to expands. Self-appreciation and appreciation of others is based on love and acceptance. In other words, as I am willing to love me, I am capable of loving you.

Much of what we say and do is called 'constructive criticism.' This means I tell you something supposedly for 'your own good.' What actually happens is that I judge what you do and say based on 'should' then I tell you how to 'do it right.' In other words, criticism is destructive and leads people to feelings of inadequacy: love and acceptance lead to feelings of self-worth. Remember: the most important task you have is loving and accepting yourself.

What is Self-appreciation?

Self is defined as the entire person of an individual while appreciation is defined as a judgement or evaluation; an expression of admiration, approval, or gratitude. Self-appreciation is about saying: 'I accept myself exactly as I am.' It is about acknowledging our unique gifts and knowing within each of us is a highly creative, skilled being just waiting for discovery.

Self-appreciation is not about putting others down or thinking yourself better; it is about loving ourselves the way we are and in turn loving others the way they are. Remember: I can only accept and love you if I am willing to love and accept myself and acknowledge my own self-worth.

In the final analysis, as the Dalai Lama states, "The purpose of our lives is to be happy." Happiness in my mind equates with joy. The joy, without which all other joy is diminished, is joy in one's self. Self-pride and self-joy are as vital to the individual as are air and water. Self-appreciation is the cornerstone in determining one's health, one's law of success, and one's abundance and prosperity in both our public and our private lives.

Practical Steps to Self-appreciation

1. Declare your uniqueness. There will never be another you; another who is exactly like you; another who will make a contribution to the planet in exactly the way that you do.

2. Look for the things you like about yourself. Write them down and then focus on one thing a day, e.g. 'I am competent' or 'I am creative' or 'I am now creating my ideal life.'

3. Forgive yourself. The past is over; know that you were doing the best you could with your level of knowledge and understanding at that time.

4. Use affirmations to remind yourself of your sacredness. Put them on the fridge, mirrors, wherever, to remind yourself that you are unique. For example, 'I like and appreciate myself,' 'I am a loveable, valuable person and deserve the best life has to offer.'

5. Read books that inspire you. Books such as daily meditations, thoughts for the day, sayings and quotations from inspirational leaders set the tone for creating an attitude of joy and/or peace before you start your day.

6. Practice an 'attitude of gratitude.' We have created much to be thankful for, our health, our abundance, and our freedoms. Carry a small notebook with you and write down everything that you are grateful for all day long. You will be amazed at all the blessings in your life - your friends, your family, your job, your warm home, the fact that you don't have to worry about stepping on landmines or getting your head blown off as you step out a door.

7. Be true to yourself. Live the life you have envisioned for your self. Don't look to others for approval; look within, and you will find it all.

Gwen Nyhus Stewart, B.S.W., M.G., H.T., is an educator, freelance writer, garden consultant, and author of the book The Healing Garden: A Place Of Peace Gardening For The Soil, Gardening For The Soul and booklet Non-toxic Alternatives For Everyday Cleaning And Gardening Chores. She owns the website Gwens Healing Garden where you will find lots of free information about gardening for the soil and gardening for the soul. To find out more about the book and subscribe to her free Newsletter visit http://www.gwenshealinggarden.ca Gwen Nyhus Stewart 2004 2006. All rights reserved.

Viktor Frankl

Will You Still Be Able To See Your Grandchildren After The Divorce?

When you get a divorce everything changes between you and your former spouse. But what about the grandchildren? If you have been part of a step-family or other blended family situation, there may be young grandchildren that you have become close to. If you are no longer part of the family will you still be able to see them and be a part of their lives?

Legally it is the parents who make all of the choices regarding the children. So, if your son or daughter is no longer married there may be children that you will no longer have the legal right to visit, spend time with, or have any connection to. That can be very painful for everyone involved. Here are some suggestions for making a difficult situation a little better:

• Stay in touch with the parent that is not related to you. When my son got divorced I made a point of staying in contact with the mother of my granddaughter. It was a slow process and took a few years to work out, but I now visit them regularly and have earned a place of love and respect in my former daughter-in-laws life. She has remarried and has another child. It would have been easier to just let them all go, but I am glad I persevered and now have regular contact with all of them.
• Be willing to give the situation enough time for wounds to heal. You may never know exactly why the couple ended up separating so just accept it and let time help to heal. By letting some time pass it is now easier to talk about the past and not feel so much hurt.
• Always say and do what you will be proud of later on. A little respect and kindness can mean a lot to people that you are no longer in daily contact with. Imagine how they might be feeling and remember that they are under no obligation to let you into their lives. Be thankful for any time you are able to spend with your grandchildren.

By remembering these things you can end up with a family that is multi-layered and full of love. The fondest memory I have is when my ex-husband, his first wife, and I got together with our granddaughter who is now living with my step-son, who is also divorced. If you can picture what I just said, you are on your way to law of success.

To find out more about living your life with passion visit http://www.ReinventYourLifeWithPassion.com

Wallace Wattles

Moving Beyond Codependency - Saving Your Marriage

I have counseled couples for almost 40 years, and it still thrills me when a couple, especially a couple with children, choose to work on their troubled marriage instead of leave it. It is my experience that when two people really want to save their marriage, they can. Even if one person wants to work on the marriage and the other doesn't, but the other is committed to staying in the marriage, great change and healing can occur. It actually takes just one person to change a codependent system, but when both are devoted to doing their inner work, miracles can happen very quickly.

Such is the case with Robert and Karen, married 14 years with two children.

The essential problem in troubled relationships is that each person is trying to control the other in different ways, and neither person is taking loving care of himself or herself. Each person is making the other responsible for their feelings of happiness and safety, and neither is taking responsibility for their own happiness and safety.

Robert was trying to control Karen with his anger and withdrawal. When she wasn't attentive enough to him, such as not wanting to listen to him complain about work, or when she didn't feel like making love with him, he would invariably get angry and sullen. He hoped that by punishing her, she would give him what he wanted - what he felt that he needed in order to be okay.

Karen was trying to control Robert with her caretaking. She would listen to him go on and on complaining about work, way past the point of boredom. She would give in to him and make love when she was not turned on, in the hope that he would love her and not be angry with her or leave her for another woman. But Karen had reached a place of deep resentment. She was almost ready to leave rather than go on losing herself in the relationship. When she finally decided to be honest with Robert, he was more than willing to come into counseling with her.

When Robert and Karen started phone sessions with me, they both believed the following:

"I am responsible for making you happy and you are responsible for making me happy. This is why we are together - to make each other happy. Why else be together? When you are not happy, it is my fault, and when I am not happy, it is your fault."

It had never occurred to Robert or Karen that they were each responsible for their own happiness. It had never occurred to them that they were together to share their love rather than to get love. It was a totally new concept to them that they each had a child inside them - their inner child, their feeling self - and that they were each responsible for their own inner child. Each of them had been handing their inner child over to the other person, essentially saying, "Here. This child, my feeling self, is your responsibility."

The problem with this is that, just as an actual child would feel abandoned if you kept trying to give him or her to someone else to care for, your inner child feels abandoned the moment you make another person responsible for your feelings. Then you think that your abandonment feelings are coming from the other person not loving you, when they are really coming from you not loving you!

I worked with Robert and Karen, teaching them how to take loving care of their own feelings. Within a few sessions, Robert and Karen were sharing their love rather than trying to get love. The fun, joy, love and passion were back in their relationship!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and Healing Your Aloneness. She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Benjamin Franklin

Life Coach Certification - What Does it Cost?

Should you choose to pursue life coaching certification for the RIGHT reasons (training, professionalism etc.) ...here's what it's going to cost you:

Step One: The Coach Training Program
If you choose to get certified, unless you have a significant number coaching hours under your belt you're probably going to want to enroll in coach training. And...my recommendation would be to stick to a program accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF). These programs last anywhere from 6 months to one year, and will cost you approximately $4,500.

Step Two: Getting Certified by the Accredited Coach Training Program
Once you've completed the initial coaching coursework, you'll want to enroll in the 'certification' process offered by your accredited coach training program. Similar to the coach training program itself, the school-specific certification programs will take anywhere from another 6 months to 1 year. And, it'll set you back another cool $4,500.

You'll need to be coached throughout the process.
Part of the training and certification process is getting coached. While many programs won't require you to work with a professional coach while you're in the Step One coach training program, you WILL be required to work with one once you enter the certification process of an ICF-accredited program.

At a bare minimum, you'll pay $400 for 6 months, or another $2,400. More than likely, you'll work with a certified coach for 12 months or more, which will be $4,800 out of pocket.

Step Three: The ICF certification exam
While the cost varies depending on your particular background, whether or not you have an ICF membership, etc. expect to pay $500 or so to the ICF for them to grant you your initials (the IAC certification costs slightly less).

Add all this together and, from start to finish, the entire process will more than likely cost $14,000 - $15,000 dollars.

Bottom line: if you decide certification is for you, make sure you know what you're getting into. It's not cheap...and it's difficult to justify on the basis of financial return on investment. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it - just be clear what you really get in the process.

Find out everything you need to know about coaching and life coaching certification by visiting http://www.coachingcertificationsite.com, a popular website that offers information, tips, advice and resources on becoming a certified coach. Learn what's in store for you before you make a big investment of your time, energy, and money.

Christianization Of Scandinavia

Love Jesus or Burn Forever in Hell... You're Basic "Love Me or I will Kill You" Religion

"Love Jesus or Burn Forever in Hell." I first saw this wonderfully encouraging statement emblazoned on the roof of a barn in rural South Carolina. Actually just about where I would expect to find it.

Boy does this little bit of encouragement say reams about the either/or mentality that goes with many fundamentalist teachings. So here is the lesson for the day evidently. EITHER I love Jesus, which I assume means confess him, promote him and do everything he is thought to have said and taught, or burn, not just up, but FOREVER in hell. Whoa moma, what a choice and even better, what a reason to love Jesus! Obey out of sheer fear of annihilation. Spirituality doesn't get any better than this!

In effect this would be the same as me, a loving parent, telling my kids, either you love your daddy, or I will kill you and not in a good or easy way. Any parent that was reported to have said this to a child would be arrested and probably loose custody of the child. But not "God." of course. Now any real God would never have such a flawed "these are the rules of love" mentality and this is more a reflection of the human who thought it up as cute or threatening, depending on the desired effect. It's also hogwash.

The bible often gives rather Taliban-like solutions to loving ones children. Sometimes a "rod of correction" is advised to get rid of children being children. That has proven to be a real hit in modern child rearing results. Opps, nuther pun there! This rod is supposed to "drive it far from them." It can be used for anything from disobeying "god" to not agreeing with dad, even though dad is dead wrong, again. Of course it is a rule used to control and keep the tribe happy. Actually it makes them turn inward and resentful, or compliant until they have a chance to not be.

Why if we are lucky enough to live until Jesus comes again, we get to see that even He is coming with a great big Rod of Iron to bash his people and all people into submission. He rides a White Horse, no doubt, and pours out plagues, vials, trumpets and trombones upon the world until we all scream in pain, "Ok, OK, you win, we LOVE you." Is it impossible for these kinds of gods and offspring to set up seminars or classes on why, we as humans can do better and live lives more peaceful and meaningful? Bashing never seems to work. Are we forever going to be motivated by fear of a good bashing so we comply, or as I like to stay, "sit down on the outside, but stand up on the inside," and be duplistic? I guess so if we don't come up with another way to be and think.

We're even told in the Old Testament that as parents we should get up all our courage and stone to death our rebellious kids. Great idea! That's been a chosen winner in effective child rearing practices through all of human family history. Of course, no parents of those kids would not have gotten old enough to have them under those guidelines either, but that's another issue. What a great time the parents must have had actually getting to throw rocks at their own kids, and not just to scare them, but to kill them! You know how long it takes to be stoned to death? Long time.

Mom must have been beside herself with glee seeing the child beg for help only to have mom say "ha! You think that was a great hit, just watch this!" Maybe dad actually helped the mom get her shots more dead on as it's not the kind of thing most parents practice. Or who knows? Wonder if they went out for dinner that evening and discussed how they could have done it better and whether or not they will miss Schlomo. I wonder if dad kept a stone on the mantel and whenever any of the surviving kids goofed off, he gave it loving glance and gave the kid a knowing smile? Maybe child rearing classes in the Old Testament included a segment on "Effective Stoning Techniques Should the Need Arise."

Actually, a parent being required by religious law to stone their own child is beyond comprehension to me and certainly not a teaching any real god. No, these are pretty much made up gods with made up rules to instill fear. Definitely your "Love Jesus or Burn Forever in Hell," mentality. So please, don't stone your kids for being human and forget the rod of iron thing.

There is a lot of "love me or I will kill you," religion loose on the planet these days. Other forms of this ridiculous idea are "Obey Me, or I will kill you." "Believe me, or I will kill you." And perhaps, "Give Dad a big hug, or I will choke your guts out." All very effective and genuine expressions of a deep understanding of true love and compassion. Almost brings tears to my eyes thinking of how loved I am with this kind of love out there just waiting to pour itself down on me.

Well, at any rate, just kidding. "Love Jesus or burn forever in hell," is a pathetic statement of what is wrong with fundamentalist religious thinking. It's all fear, shame and guilt based. It's key motivator is fear of consequences if one does not comply, and it so often neither works nor inspires compassion or encouragement. I'd love to meet the kids of anyone that would paint on a huge barn roof, this little bit of sage Biblical advice. I wonder if they ever come home to the farm for Thanksgiving or Christmas, or dads birthday? I wonder if they even sends cards? I wonder if they are close to their parents or enjoy their company and perspectives on how life works and what to do when it doesn't seem to. Naw, I bet not. I bet these kids were stoned to death long ago.

Charles Lindbergh

Move Out of Your Comfort Zone and Make Change

Your comfort zone is the place you feel safe, where there is no sense of risk. To step out of this place can feel scary and the thought of transforming the status quo can be overwhelming.

It is also very easy to say that you will make change in your life when you have lost weight/moved house/have more money/the children have gone to school, etc, then never make that change or come up with new excuses not to move forward.

What risks have you taken in your life? And how have you changed as a result of moving out of your comfort zone? For many people who have made significant changes in their life, they have increased their confidence, then felt the need to rise to a new challenge!

Going outside of your comfort zone enables you to take responsibility for your future, determine what you want from life and act on it.

If you want to make a change in your life, consider what you want to do and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What do I want to achieve?
2. What do I need to do to achieve it?
3. When and where do I want it?
4. How will achieving this benefit me?
5. What might stop me achieving this?
6. How can I overcome or remove this?
7. How will I know when I have achieved it?
8. What is the first thing I can do to help me to achieve it?

Taking control of your life can help you to become aware of the choices available to you, then enable you to choose the right path. You may feel out of your depth or scared to begin with, but each small step will take you towards your goal.

If you would like to receive regular information, hints and tips like this, sign up for the free Self Discovery newsletter by clicking on the link at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk and receive a free coaching report and life evaluator tool.

Copyright Karen Williams 2007. All Rights Reserved

Karen Williams is a Life and Career Development Coach and runs her own coaching practice, Self Discovery Coaching. She has over ten years experience of working in Human Resources, training, coaching and management roles and is a Chartered member of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD).

Buddhism And Eastern Teaching

Health and Well-Being in Your Relationship

When two people care deeply about themselves and each other, they strive to take care of their physical health. The reason is simple: They want to be around a long time to enjoy and share their life together. Relationship vitality is both a metaphorical expression and an actual goal for many.

In loving and positive relationships, each partner is often motivated and inspired to help the other maintain a healthy lifestyle. When you love someone very deeply there is a natural tendency to nurture and protect. We all take each day we live too much for granted. We expect to live forever; and to live without limits or restrictions. However, we all know that sometimes the harshness and unfairness of life can strike any one of us, or someone we love, at a moments notice.

There is no greater sense of hopelessness and despair when we find out that a loved one is ill, perhaps terminally. Everything seems to stop and the once important events in life become unimportant. We hear stories that a husband will say he would give away everything he owned to make his wife better. The big house, the expensive car, and the promising career are now inconsequential. Take an inventory today, right now of what is truly important to you. If your spouse or significant other is at the top of your inventory list, ask yourself what you are doing to promote and ensure their health and well being.

Are you looking the other way with their eating choices? Do you ignore their excessive consumption of alcohol? Are you encouraging your partner to seek regular medical checkups? There is no question each one of us is the only one responsible for our own health. Im not suggesting that you must bear the burden of taking care of all of the physical needs of your partner. After all, we are all responsible for the choices we make and for the outcome of our lives but we all do have the responsibility in our intimate relationships to speak-up and voice our concerns and to model positive and productive lifestyle choices.

The other part of bringing health and well-being into your relationship is to keep an eye on what you are doing to stay healthy. Im sure whoever you are sharing your life with does not what you take risks with your health. Smoking, not exercising, and ignoring sound medical advice is not only irresponsible, it is also selfish. Your partner is counting on you for so many things. Taking care of your health is fundamental to being around and to fulfill your commitments and promises to the person you love.

Alex Blackwell is the author of The Next 45 Years - a website dedicated to sharing and creating happiness, life balance and law of success for the rest of our lives. To read all five actions for a law of successful relationship, please visit: http://www.thenext45years.blogspot.com

God As Unity Or Trinity