Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Will You Still Be Able To See Your Grandchildren After The Divorce?

When you get a divorce everything changes between you and your former spouse. But what about the grandchildren? If you have been part of a step-family or other blended family situation, there may be young grandchildren that you have become close to. If you are no longer part of the family will you still be able to see them and be a part of their lives?

Legally it is the parents who make all of the choices regarding the children. So, if your son or daughter is no longer married there may be children that you will no longer have the legal right to visit, spend time with, or have any connection to. That can be very painful for everyone involved. Here are some suggestions for making a difficult situation a little better:

  • Stay in touch with the parent that is not related to you. When my son got divorced I made a point of staying in contact with the mother of my granddaughter. It was a slow process and took a few years to work out, but I now visit them regularly and have earned a place of love and respect in my former daughter-in-laws life. She has remarried and has another child. It would have been easier to just let them all go, but I am glad I persevered and now have regular contact with all of them.
  • Be willing to give the situation enough time for wounds to heal. You may never know exactly why the couple ended up separating so just accept it and let time help to heal. By letting some time pass it is now easier to talk about the past and not feel so much hurt.
  • Always say and do what you will be proud of later on. A little respect and kindness can mean a lot to people that you are no longer in daily contact with. Imagine how they might be feeling and remember that they are under no obligation to let you into their lives. Be thankful for any time you are able to spend with your grandchildren.
By remembering these things you can end up with a family that is multi-layered and full of love. The fondest memory I have is when my ex-husband, his first wife, and I got together with our granddaughter who is now living with my step-son, who is also divorced. If you can picture what I just said, you are on your way to law of success.

To find out more about living your life with passion visit http://www.ReinventYourLifeWithPassion.com

Wallace Wattles

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