Overcome the Fear of Change

Do you feel discomfort or fear when there are things changing in your life? This is quite common for adults to feel while children rarely experience those feelings. Children usually are excited about all the new things that are coming their way - new friends to play with and more things to learn.

When you were young, you did not resist change. You anticipated change. You anticipated growth. But many adults do not look forward to getting new jobs, switching careers or relocating to a new city. I wonder when people decide they have reached the point where they want things around them to stay the same.

Be aware of the fact that change is an unchanging truth. Intentional or not, your life is always changing. Look back one year ago or even 10, 20 and 30 years ago, how has your life changed? You have finished school. You have started a career. Maybe you have started a family also. How about the people around you, how have they changed? Have you lived in different places? I am sure you would notice lots of changes over the years. Yet, many people still have a strong tendency to resist change.

If you are among those who fear changes, here are three effective ways to help you overcome that fear:

"Feel the fear and do it anyway." Everyone has a comfort zone. Your fear is a warning that you are about to step outside of your comfort area. If it is your intention to do something different from what you are accustomed to, then your fear is a welcoming signal. Your comfort zone will grow each time you venture outside of it. Remember the first time you drove and you were not even sure how to do it on an empty road? How about the first time you drove on the expressway? How about now? Do you sometimes find yourself driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand fumbling on the music player searching for your favorite song while talking to your friend sitting beside you? Rather than let you fear hold you back, embrace the opportunity to grow. Keep practicing until it becomes second nature to you.

Focus on your goal. The anticipation of pain is one of the main causes of fear. Do you realize that a lot of this pain resides only in your imagination. Have you ever experienced that actually taking the feared action has been much easier than you imagined it to be? Perhaps it was the first time for you performing on stage or it may have been the first job interview you had. To allay your fear, set your goal and understand why achieving this goal is important for you. Make a decision to do it and commit to it. Focus on your goal and it will help to keep your fear at bay.

Identify the benefits of change. When a person associates change with loss, it can be difficult. A caterpillar will never become a butterfly if it is so attached to its identity that it refuses to morph. What benefits will you gain from making that change? Will you lose anything as a result? Is it a true loss or a perceived loss? Many people are hard hit by the prospect of a job loss, retirement, relocation or family changes. For sure, those situations can be emotionally challenging but they can also open up opportunities for something even better.

Recognize that you are not alone feeling the fear of change. Join some support groups if you need emotional support. Recruit the help of mentors or coaches to help you gain an independent perspective and learn from their experiences so you can have a smooth or even fun transition.

Corinne Lor is a success coach who works with dissatisfied business professionals and people in transition, helping them realign their personal resources to meet multiple work and personal demands while having the joy of rediscovering their personal lives. Corinne Lor provides private individual sessions and group workshops through business enterprises.