What does being an Empty Nester mean? It means you suddenly are home alone (even with a partner) because your children have flown your nest, be it to go to university, travelling, sharing a flat or just moving on from your 'wing'.
My children have flown have done this. Over the years they have come and gone, like boomerangs. They are still coming and going but these are 'visits' until they move on again.
I have one daughter who traveled for six months and ended up in New Zealand with her boyfriend two years, two years ago! She couldn't have gone any further, could she? She is coming home for a visit this year.
Last year another daughter emigrated to Israel with her husband and my grandchildren. I have been to Israel and they have been back for visits. That's only 5 hours away - but still a long way.
I still have one daughter here with her two boys - does that make it easier - not sure really. It is lovely to be able to see her and the boys often but she has her own life and her own arrangements.
So how do I feel? Just like it says on the tin - empty. It never actually goes away but you do learn to live with it, as you do most things that happen in your life. You encourage them to learn to live their lives, even though your heart is breaking. It always makes me think of that song by Nat King Cole (words below).
So what do you do? What did I do?
There isn't a lot to do. Get on with your life. I know it sounds easy to say. When you are feeling the emotion it feels like you will never get over it, you feel lost and empty. You cling onto people who have been through it. I joined forums of people whose children were emigrating and we could all emphasis.
Your friends try to help so much but be supportive. I know I was like a bear with a sore head but they don't understand unless they have been through it.
You do like everything, learn to live with it. You brought your children up to be independent - admire their freedom and their choices. You look forward to visits, photographs and e-mails. Especially in today's climate where there is facebook, Skype, e-mails, texts and there is still snail mail - post.
Now it is time for you to live - so they can admire you. Do away with the stresses and worries (you never stop worrying about your children I know). Look forward and not back. It is time for you.
I would love to hear your stories on how you dealt with an empty nest. What your personal story is? How did you feel when it happened?
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Words by john turner and geoffrey parsons and music by charlie chaplin
Are you an Empty Nester - how did you deal with it - would you like to have personal help?
Would you like to know how life coaching could help you? At denisevogel-lifecoach.com you will find answers to the questions you may be asking yourself. There are some tools on my website to start you on your way and more of this kind of article.
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Denise Vogel is a personal life coach based in Essex who has set her sights in helping people to turn their lives around.
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