Unattainable Pursuit

Three roommates paid a visit to a guidance counselor. Each girl needed to figure out how to pursue their interests, so they took the logical step to find out.

The counselor asked each of the girls the area of interest they wanted to pursue.

The first girl replied, "I want to pursue being a success."

The second girl said, "I want to pursue happiness."

Girl number three claimed, "I want to learn how to please people."

After listening to their replies, the counselor sat back in his chair and scratched his head with a sigh. "Well now, you all have very big ambitions and seem equally enthusiastic and committed to them.

However, I would like you each to reconsider your pursuits, because the ones you've chosen are quite ambiguous."

Success Girl and Happiness Girl didn't understand why the counselor wanted to dissuade them from their chosen pursuits. "Why can't we pursue our interests?" they asked.

"The answer is quite simple," responded the counselor. "You don't find success, success finds you. You don't find happiness, happiness finds you.

You see girls, success and happiness are the byproducts of the thing you choose to do. You do things that may lead to success, you do things in life that give you joy, and if you're lucky; success and happiness will find you. All you can do is prepare yourself so you improve the odds that you'll be found by success and happiness."

Meanwhile, girl number three didn't feel real confident after hearing the counselor's response to her roommates. So, she asked, "Doesn't everyone want to learn how to please people, after all, isn't that what people expect; to be pleased?"

The counselor responded, "No, not everyone wants to be pleased, in some cases, people pleasers are despised for not having a mind of their own. Being kind and considerate is one thing, however, pleasing people is the equivalent of diving into a black hole. You have no idea what may please people from moment to moment. And, even if you did, you'd have to do it in a way that they could receive it, they would have to want it, and it would have to serve a purpose or meet a need. Pleasing people is a lost art form, and should remain so. If you do anything, you may try to strive for conscientiousness, but that's the most you can hope for.

Here's the deal when it comes to pleasing. You can only please people by being yourself, which you'll find more pleasing to yourself as well. After all, even if you could, and did, please other people, what's the payoff? Often pleasing others is more about our own issues regarding conflict avoidance, than about pleasing others. So, settle down, and be yourself."

Successful entrepreneur, V.P. Mosser is the creator of the Learn the Lessons Series, the Life's Journey publication and numerous thought provoking articles. To learn more and receive free chapters or issues, visit http://www.learnthelessons.com