Are you willing to let those around you make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons? Or does your self esteem demand that "save them from all that suffering"?
Are you letting others be right (or wrong), or are you trying to MAKE others be right?5B4 What's the difference, you ask? Here it is in a nutshell.
If you're letting others be right, you're trusting them to have good judgment and make useful decisions.
On the other hand, making others be right doesn't involve trust in their judgment. It requires taking over for them and making their decisions for them. This is a way of dominating others.
True, the dominator is motivated by good intentions (usually). And he almost certainly wants what's good for those around him, but he considers himself the best judge of what that good may be. He's certain he knows better than others do. However, trying to keep others on the proper path is like playing God with their lives.
There's no hint of equality in a relationship like that.
You've heard the term "smother love." It refers to a parent who so over-protects her children that the kids never learn basic self-reliance and grow up to be completely dependent on that parent. They never develop the self esteem of a healthy, self reliant adult.
When I was a kid, a neighbor lady got a new puppy. It was a delightful little white dog -- a tiny poodle -- named Powder. And she sure did love little Powder. She carried that dog everywhere with her. She went shopping with the dog in her bag, carried it with her to the Laundromat, even put it into a little basket in a high chair at the table when her family was eating.
And the dog never learned to walk right. When5B1 it died at an early age, the vet said it was probably because its heart and other organs never developed properly. Carrying little Powder around everywhere looked sweet, but it ultimately killed him prematurely.
It's possible to do too much for others. If you feel the urge to save others from themselves, that's not a bad thing. And it's certainly acceptable to offer help. But does your own limited self esteem make it impossible to trust others? Are you cramming your help down their throats? If so, such help may be stunting their growth, denying them the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes and to develop a powerful, healthy self esteem of their own.
For more information on how to shape your future, download the free PDF report "It's All Good Luck - Five No-Fail Tips for Turning Bad Luck into Good... Every Time" at http://www.more-luck.com/luckyreport/
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